I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
