it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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