Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
honey bunches of taint.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
