How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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