Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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