hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
