Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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