Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Randomize
