He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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