i jhust puked up my retainher.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
