I just saw a hot homeless man
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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