A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
They are going to name an STD after you.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
There's even glitter on my cock...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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