Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
