i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
two words...techno handjob
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
May the power of my ass compel you!!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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