he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
