GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize