She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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