he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
