the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
