i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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