I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
