Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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