Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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