The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
