god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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