what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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