i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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