I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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