I wannas sexs uuuuu
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
two words...techno handjob
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
