I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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