I never want to see another naked old woman again.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
