next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
