Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
