I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
