btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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