How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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