where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
