i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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