I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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