Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
