the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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