the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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