This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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