the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
whose parrot is this?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
