I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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