Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I still have a little drunk in my system
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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