I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
