Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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