i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
