you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
